Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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