dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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