how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
