I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
nutella sex= disaster
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
