Me. At least after what I've been through.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
how drunk are you?
Several
there is glitter all over my balls
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
