I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
