we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
