I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
