In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
