I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
