You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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