remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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