hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
