sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
