HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
