She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
