I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
