She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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