so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I need a beard to bite.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
