ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
