i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize