would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
