Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
