This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
