you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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