??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
