please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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