I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
