maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
