is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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