I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
