wakey wakey hands off snakey
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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