I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
