ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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