He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
