I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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