There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
