windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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