Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
