i just had sex bonerless
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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