i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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