dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
