she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
