Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
