so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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