All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
