So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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