Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
