wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
