Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
