he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I am one with the molecules
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize